Most parents of children of pre-school age find it harder to accept that their child is no longer a little, helpless being, but that it becomes more and more independent, and is increasingly looking for help in carrying out everyday activities. Through this process of accepting a newspaper in the behavior of their child, some parents pass easier, while others are more difficult to adapt to the new situation. While they use everyday opportunities to encourage a child to develop self-esteem, others continue to do things for them and instead of them, believing that this is right. No one can blame parents for their choices because they best know their child and what his needs are, but what we can do is help them to become aware of their actions and to point them at some of the characteristics of development at that time and what is what they can expect from them at this age.

What many parents resort to during this period, to deal with this, “a new” child who suddenly wants to examine and investigate all, and who often tests the set limits, is the use of punishment as a means of disciplining. However, if we explain this punishment, we can conclude that the use of punishment as a consequence is a way for PLATE children to do something in the past.

Unlike the classic concept of discipline (which carries a negative meaning – disciplining a child using punishment, because it was not good), positive discipline as an approach to educating children makes no difference between good and bad children, but the difference is between good and bad bad behavior. Moreover, a positive discipline is a reliance on positive aspects of behavior, in order to strengthen it, without resorting to verbal or physical punishment. What is the goal of this approach is to teach children the skills to solve situations and problems in a peaceful and balanced way, which will support the development of their independence.

Instead of focusing on the past, it is necessary to encourage a child to find solutions that will help him to “LEARN” for the future. For example, if a child happens to hit another child in a kindergarten, it is wrong to impose a punishment as a logical consequence of his deeds and a belief that the punishment will solve all problems, since such an approach will not help the child to understand what the problem is or how to find the best solution. What is needed is to directly involve the child in reflecting and finding a solution to the problem and to get rid of the view that it is still little to know what is good and that you certainly know better. Encourage him and surprise you how much wisdom is hidden in him.

Moreover, in this way, you give the child the opportunity to use and strengthen his / her skills. If you show him to respect his opinion and appreciate his contribution to solving the situation, and if you take it seriously and truly hear what he has to say, you will contribute to the development of the child’s confidence, because he has the opportunity to experience that it is important to someone and belongs somewhere . When it feels that affiliation, the odds of unwanted behavior are less, because it will be more willing to learn from its mistakes with a dose of optimism.

Ask the child with curious questions about what happened, what she thinks has led to it, how others felt and what they learned from it, and how it will help him to solve future situations, etc. Only in this way will you be able to avoid what most parents apply, which is to pre-determine what happened to the child, what is the cause, how it should feel and what it should do. Do not try to protect the child from the consequences of his work, because it is priceless experiences that will help him to face a future life that brings more serious challenges and situations, but be someone who will lead, empower and direct it.

Ljiljana Todorović

Pedagogue PU “Trešnjober”